TIPS ON HOW TO REMAIN POOR
(Prof. Makau)
- Never wake up early. Keep stretching and turning in bed until you get too hungry to continue dozing. If there are no bed bugs, why the hurry to get up?
- Never plan how to spend your money. Whenever you get money, start spending it right away, and when it’s finished, try to count and recall how you spent it.
- Don’t think of saving until you have some really big money. How can you save when you earn so little? Those telling you to save are not sympathetic to your burning needs.
- Don’t engage in activities usually reserved for the “uneducated”. How can you, a graduate, engage in petty trade, network marketing, or home-based production? That’s for people who never went to school!
- Don’t think of starting a business until an angel comes from heaven and gives you capital. How much do they expect you to invest before you get a million? Even though more than half the businesses in your town were started with little capital, you, as a smart person, can only start with millions.
- Complain about everything except your own attitude and laziness. Blame the system, the government, and the banks that refused to lend you money. They are all bad and do not want you to get rich.
- Spend more than you earn. To achieve this, buy consumer products on credit and keep borrowing from friends and employers.
- Compete in dressing. Make sure you’re wearing the latest clothes. Intimidate the congregation with your trendy fashions every day. Whenever your neighbor buys a new phone, you get a more expensive one.
- Get yourself a nice second-hand car that costs more than three times your yearly salary.
- Give your children everything they ask for since you’re such a loving parent. They should not struggle for anything because you do not want them to suffer that way. They will grow up lazy and hence poor enough to ensure they can’t help you at old age.
- Devote your time, energy, and resources to watching football, especially the EPL, UCL, and La Liga. Keep up with all the matches, fixtures, and transfers. Ensure you adequately argue your points among friends for hours after each game. After all, one day, Messi and Ronaldo will remember you and send you some percentage of their income.
- Stay on Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp, and Instagram all day to post, comment, or watch videos. Engage in discussions that add no value to your life just to show that you are current and up-to-date. Keep hopeful that one day a benevolent spirit will come down to bless you.
- Ensure you shout the loudest Amen in church, receive all the prophetic blessings but don’t work. Stay idle and keep hoping that one day money will fall for you from the sky.
Do all these, I guarantee you will sure emerge poor and wretched.
copied!!
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