1. Excessive time
Time often helps heal a physical injury. But time alone does not heal the most serious wounds. You need surgery, rehab, and ongoing care and conditioning. Conflict is no exception. If you think that waiting and doing nothing will resolve a conflict, you are mistaken.
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Don’t let the sun set on your wrath. Waiting to resolve a disagreement between two people rarely helps. When there is a disagreement, it is time for confession, repentance, and forgiveness. It’s a chance to confront bad habits. Rather than letting time pass, be the one who initiates the conversation about the conflict. Without resolution, the conflict will fester, grow, and resurface.
2. Pretend it isn’t.
Avoiding conflict may be the worst way to resolve it. Imagine having a disagreement but then pretending everything is fine. This may be easier for a while, but it does not create a genuine connection. Pretending nothing bothers you—or that nothing bothers others—disconnects you.
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“Rather than denying conflict in a relationship, acknowledge it.”
Instead of denying conflict, acknowledge it and express your desire to solve it. With busy schedules, this may mean scheduling a time to address the issue. It’s not about letting go, but about making sure both parties feel cared for, heard, and flexible. I believe many marriages and other relationships fail because people stop talking about issues. Over time, ignored issues pile up to an insurmountable point.
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3. Punish the other person until they change their ways. “
Many of us will “help” a loved one see the error of their ways. Some people even punish each other. But we can’t punish each other. Using the silent treatment, yelling, name-calling, or even leaving during arguments will not solve them; it will only make them worse.
If this is how you handle conflict, learn how to communicate better. Be a good listener, speak the truth in love, be respectful, and communicate clearly. Resolving conflict takes practice. It’s not easy. But it pays off.