“The enlightenment process is destructive.” It has nothing to do with growth or contentment. Under the weight of enlightenment, untruth crumbles. It sees straight through deception. It is the complete annihilation of everything we believed to be true. Adyashanti
The following are nine unspoken life beliefs that obstruct our path to inner peace.
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1. “I need to be doing something right now.”
This is a very subtle belief that the majority of us hold without being aware of it. It is a byproduct of our obsession with productivity and achievement, and manifests as a nagging dissatisfaction.
Though our ego convinces us that we require this sensation in order to accomplish tasks, we discover that when we let go, much of our anxiety subsides and our relaxation deepens. Without the constant internal pressure of feeling as though what we’re doing now is never enough, we’re also much more likely to enjoy the tasks at hand.
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2. “I’ll be content when I obtain what I desire.”
This is another overused cliche, which I’m sure we’ve all heard. Despite the fact that we do not require anything to be happy, it is far too easy to become consumed by the pursuit.
To overcome this, we must recognize when we have the impression that something is required for happiness. We can practice letting go of that need whenever we become aware that we are doing so, even if for a brief moment. As we improve, we will be happier in the present and less likely to fantasize about the future.
3. “It’s difficult to achieve inner tranquillity.”
This is another myth that gets in the way. Many of us believe that we are still in search of inner peace and look up to those who appear to have discovered it. As a result, we think it is far away from where we are in life and that we have to go on a long journey to find it.
Perhaps we’ve read books that assert that fundamental change in our feelings or behaviors requires years of effort or a pilgrimage. However, more often than not, it’s about letting go of the belief that what we want is so far away and realizing that when we stop striving so hard, we begin to notice the calm we seek.
This process of reversing your beliefs becomes the journey itself.
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4. “If I am candid about my emotions, people will perceive me as weak.”
As we mature, we are frequently taught to control our emotions. This is common for socially unacceptable emotions such as anger, fear, and sadness. In many ways, we are also taught to minimize positive emotions such as joy and excitement. This leads us to believe that as we age, honest expression will be met with hostility.
The irony is that while everyone wishes to be authentic, those who do so are frequently rewarded with admiration and respect.
5. “If people knew the real me, they would not like it.”
This is similar to the difficulty we have with emotional expression. We conceal certain facets of our personalities, publicly defining ourselves through what we display and privately through what we conceal. The truth is that you are much more than either of those narratives, and people will gravitate toward the authentic you out of respect for honesty.
6. “I should be happier right now.”
Our culture places an inordinate amount of emphasis on individual social comparisons. When we are ill, we examine our possessions and feel guilty for being unsatisfied. Instead, we can focus on what we don’t have and compare our happiness to that of other people.
Happiness is not a constant state; it comes and goes, just like any other experience, but it is not necessary to be human.
7. “It is not acceptable for me to be anything less than the best version of myself.”
There has been a massive push toward personal development over the last two decades. While many of these concepts are beneficial, they can be motivated by malicious intentions.
The majority of people are motivated to improve themselves not out of a genuine desire to better their community, but rather out of a belief that they are not good enough to begin with.
When you are able to let go of this belief, you will realize that the quest to be your best self is never-ending and anxiety-inducing. You’ll notice that you can love and appreciate yourself exactly as you are right now, without feeling the need to pretend to be someone else.
8. “You owe me everything.”
This is a challenging one, as it relates to the desire to be your best self. While gratitude is critical, it does not mean we should live our lives as if we owe the universe everything.
This is evident when individuals attempt to prove their worth to others in a pathological manner. Once we let go of our deep feelings of debt and obligation, we can truly begin to give people what we have to offer.
9. “At one point in my life, I was utterly miserable.”
We frequently become so identified with negative memories from our past that we lose sight of the present. We define ourselves through our past experiences, and we feel compelled to share them with everyone we know before they meet the real us.
We stop feeling like imposters and allow old memories to fade away when we realize they aren’t as significant as we believed.
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Numerous beliefs continue to pervade our daily lives. When we first meet new people, we have the unsettling impression that they have no idea who we are until we tell them a series of clips from our life story. However, I recognize that these stories do not accurately reflect who we are at the moment. What other people think of us and how we view ourselves are constantly changing.
At other times, we are exhausted or ill and have the nagging sense that we should be happier or more productive with our time. And, like many of us, I still have a long way to go in terms of being able to express myself honestly without fear of judgment.
Nothing is wrong. Because these beliefs have been ingrained in our minds for a long period of time, it’s only natural that they take some time and effort to completely eradicate.