How to Make Puberty Easier for Your Tween

What can you expect socially and psychologically.

Mood swings, changes in energy, and swings between feeling independent and needing parental help are all normal parts of puberty.

Your child will desire to form their own identity, which may mean making new friends and having new experiences. If this occurs, they will face difficulties in managing their current friendships. They may also start to look into their sexuality, go on dates, and start relationships.

Puberty and adolescence are times when children become increasingly self-reliant (such as getting themselves to and from school). They may also be seeking additional responsibilities, such as assuming a leadership role at school or working part-time.

Your youngster might feel self-conscious about how they look and how their body is changing. Personal space and privacy may become very essential to them. They may go from feeling self-conscious one day to feeling “bullet proof” the next.

These social and emotional changes indicate that your child is developing their own identity and learning how to function as a self-sufficient adult. They are improving their decision-making skills and learning to see and understand the consequences of their choices.

Social media and teenagers

Teenagers are quite active on social media. Its use is associated with a variety of benefits (such as interacting with friends, feeling less alienated, and being exposed to new ideas) as well as hazards (such as cyberbullying, sexting, and spending too much time online).

The eSafety Commissioner has written an online safety handbook for parents and caregivers in a variety of languages. ReachOut has good advice for parents and caregivers about how to talk to their kids about social media. 

On the Better Health Channel, you can learn more about online safety for kids. See also “Questions Young People Ask,” Volumes 1, 2 at jw.or > publications.books.

How can you help your child through puberty?

Reassurance is one of the most effective ways to deal with your child’s adolescence. Explain that puberty is an exciting time since it signals the start of adulthood.

Try to empathize with them and convince them that the changes they’re going through are natural and that most of them will pass. Of course, if you have concerns about your child’s development, speak with your doctor.

The importance of role-modeling body acceptance during puberty cannot be overstated. Your youngster will compare his or her body to that of their peers and may become concerned about their own growth.

Showing understanding and explaining that bodies exist in many shapes and sizes is the finest thing you can do. Your child will benefit from your modeling a healthy lifestyle.

If your child is experiencing puberty early or late, be patient and provide lots of comfort and support. They could be humiliated, but reassure them that everyone grows at their own pace.

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It’s also a good idea to keep the following pointers in mind:

• Congratulate your adolescent on their efforts, accomplishments, and exceptional behavior.

• Put yourself in your child’s shoes and try to see their behavior for what it is most of the time: a child trying to find his or her own identity.

• Try to remain cool during your child’s angry outbursts. Wait until your youngster has calmed down before addressing the issue.

• Maintain an interest and involvement in your child’s activities and be there whenever he or she needs to talk.

• Have a conversation with your partner or other parents of adolescent children. Sharing worries and experiences can help to lighten the strain.

• Encourage your child to express themselves, even if some of their choices may appear strange to you, such as an extreme haircut or unusual clothing.

• Allow for extended periods of personal care, such as hours spent in the bathroom, but discuss reasonable family time constraints with your child.

• Discuss any permanent changes to your child’s body, such as tattoos and piercings, as well as temporary options, such as henna (removable) tattoos.

• If your child has acne, talk to them about it. Inquire if they’d like to consult a doctor if it’s upsetting them. Your doctor may recommend your adolescent to a dermatologist or skin expert.

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How can you help your daughter through puberty?

It’s critical to assist your daughter with firsts, such as getting ready for her first period. Pack some sanitary things in her schoolbag quietly, and show her how to use them (for example, not sleeping with a tampon in place).

Prepare for period pain with a hot water bottle and a prescription pain reliever from your doctor or pharmacist. If your daughter hasn’t had her period by the age of 16 or 17, or if her periods cease once they’ve begun, consult your doctor.

Remember to tell your daughter that all of these changes are normal and that every girl goes through them at her own pace.

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How can you help your son through puberty?

It’s largely about reassurance when it comes to guiding your son through puberty. Assist your kid in understanding that testes develop in different ways, and it’s typical for one to be smaller than the other. Consult your doctor if your son’s testes are very small or not both in the scrotum.

You may also need to convince your kid that penis size has little bearing on sexual performance and that erect penises are typically of equal size. Every boy matures at his own pace. Both ejaculating while sleeping (sometimes known as a “wet dream”) and spontaneous erections are common.

Your son may be concerned if he notices breast growth or soreness. Reassurance is crucial once more. Any tenderness will most likely dissipate as his chest expands. Reassure your son that he will grow into his age group if he feels small or thin.

Remember, you are the one who knows your child the best. Consult your doctor if you have any concerns regarding their development.

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What’s the best way to talk about puberty and body image?

The best time to talk to your child about puberty is before it starts. When conversing with your youngster, be open and comfortable.

Use the proper terminology for body parts so that your child learns and feels comfortable using them while discussing their body. They need to know that their physical parts are normal and natural, and that there are words to describe them.

You might want to start the topic by asking if your child has been taught about puberty at school and what they’ve learnt.

In the conversation, state facts such as “every kid goes through these changes, but not all at the same time.” Did you notice it? Discuss your values as well. 

Choose a moment when there are no distractions to communicating, and don’t worry if your youngster doesn’t want to tell you everything. They might want to speak with your family doctor or a therapist.

The Kids Helpline website gives helpful advice on how to talk to young people about puberty and body image. Allowing your child to read the Kids Helpline information on body changes and sexuality is an option.

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How to foster positive independence during puberty:

During puberty or adolescence, it’s typical for your child to crave more independence while still needing your help. They might take risks when they test their limits.

You may be concerned about your child’s safety and find yourself battling with them over their desire for independence as a parent. Keep your cool and work through the problems with your child.

Make sure your youngster understands you’re there for them by communicating honestly. Stay accessible because knowing what your child is doing and keeping them safe is the best way to keep them safe.

Discuss the importance of making good decisions with your child, as well as your family’s values. Inquire about where your child is and what they are doing.

How should you care for yourself at this time?

It’s critical that you take care of yourself during this potentially trying period in your child’s life. Trust your parenting abilities and seek advice from others or educate yourself on the subject so you can confidently guide your child through it.

Your child’s metamorphosis into an adult begins with puberty. Allow yourself some time to understand that your child, as well as your position as a parent and the dynamics of your family, are changing.

You may also have to realize that once your child is a young adult, you won’t have complete influence over their choices and life path. It may assist to believe that you’ve done your best as a parent and to have faith in your child.

However, you may be particularly concerned if your child makes new acquaintances that lead to activities that you are concerned about, such as violence or drug use. It might be a good idea to get help from a family counselor.

Continue to be accessible and considerate. No matter how old your child is, let them know you are there for them. Take some time for yourself to relieve tension, and take care of your personal needs if this is a particularly difficult moment for you.

Below are some suggestions about how to take care of yourself.

• Make a weekly family schedule so you know what everyone is up to and where they need to be. Include some fun family routines, such as playing cards on Saturday nights or going for a weekly walk or bike ride. Remember to set aside some time for yourself.

• Take care of your partner’s relationship. Remember, they’re dealing with many of the same issues you are. A regular date night in your family’s calendar might be really beneficial.

• Tap into your support system, which may include grandparents, other family members, and friends. What child (or adolescent) doesn’t appreciate being indulged by adoring grandparents? You might also carpool or delegate supervision to buddies.

• Enlist your children’s help with household chores.Your child will acquire new skills and responsibilities, which will ease the burden on you as parents and caregivers.

• Maintain a positive attitude and a sense of perspective.

Try some meditation, yoga, or deep breathing techniques for an extra boost. At jw.or, you can find more advice on how to deal with teenagers and take care of yourself at this stage in your child’s life.

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